Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
