Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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