I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
