Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
