covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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