it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
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I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
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I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.