We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
