yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My cat gives me a boner
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
