Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

put your butt on the phone this is a booty call

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(512): View more from Texas

clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.

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(940): View more from Texas

He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.

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(818): View more from California

Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah

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