How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it was like eating out sand paper
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How