There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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