I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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