She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
