Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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