You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
