he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize