the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
