Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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