This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
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I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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