just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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