What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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