even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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