Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
