were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
