i just google imaged poop.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
