that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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