I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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