Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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