He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
