Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
