I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
