Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
