Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
