no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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