Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
