oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
