dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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