So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
so much tequila, so little girl.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
