Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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