I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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