Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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