I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
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Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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