just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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