I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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