Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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