I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
