Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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