I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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