so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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