I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.