Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
