I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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