In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
