I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
