So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
