YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.