You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.