you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths