the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?