why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.