Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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