I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.