Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.