Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
