I will die if light touches me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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