I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
