So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
