My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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