I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize