there were more penises there than on chat roulette
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
