Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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