I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I could fuck to npr.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
