good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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