What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
