they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
