There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
