I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize