Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
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I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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