There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
