so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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